Giving the SAT the Finger

There is apparently a research report circulating suggesting it is possible to predict a child’s performance on the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) by looking at the relative lengths of her index and ring fingers. The link to an article on that research arrived in my inbox earlier this week. While I won’t simply dismiss this research as junk science, the article does seem Onion-esque.

In the end, does it really matter? What is a parent or mother-to-be going to do with this information? Will expecting mothers begin estrogen and testosterone supplement regiments during pregnancy which is sure to create other physiological changes during those critical early stages of development? Will parents hire tutors for their two week-olds to make up for what are destined to be verbal or mathematical deficiencies in their children with stubby index or ring fingers?

I am not a parent, but if one asked my opinion, I would say show them your child’s middle finger and keep it moving.

If I were a parent, I would take a polyglot child over one nice with analogies any day but that’s not something we test for (care about?) in the U.S. Furthermore, if pop music, texting, IM’ing and MySpace are any indication, English is a second language for today’s American youth already.

I have been in Europe just over a week for work and the number of times I wished I had learned another language vs. the number of times I wished I had a sweet analogy is 100:1.

My ring fingers are both considerably longer than my index fingers. I have a mathematical/analytical leaning and scored better on my math SATs than verbal. I went to MIT! However, I also have a penchant for the written word and the gift of gab. I work in marketing! This “research” was probably done by people with short ring fingers. Bah! :sarcastic: