Eliot Spitzer Gets Caught in the Cookie Jar

Eliot Spitzer skyrocketed as the tenacious New York State Attorney General who brought the pain to Wall Street wrongdoers and NYC ne’er-do-wells alike. He was also one of the chief haters trying to split up Microsoft back in 2000.

Imagine my chagrin reading today’s headlines that Mr. Spitzer got caught up in an upscale prostitution ring. A federal wiretap caught Eliot “Client 9” Spitzer, having a woman from Emperors Club VIP, fly from New York to D.C. to meet him in a hotel room registered under George Fox, the name of one of his close friends. This is a plot ripped from the Lifetime Movie Network…not that I watch Lifetime or anything.

I’m not one to kick a man when he is down so I will instead provide Mr. Spitzer—and others facing similar prospects—with a bit of advice, courtesy of NYC’s prodigal son, Jay-Z, the rapper. (Who better to give advice on ethics and morals than a rapper?)

The following is taken from the song “Trouble” on Jay-Z’s album Kingdom Come:

Smelling like Patron, singing dirty rap songs
Tiptoeing in the crib like six in the morn’
Everyday is the same, I said on Blueprint that I’d “Never Change
It’s just a part of the game
Respect me I’m a thug, I might cool out for a sec
But expect me to bug, it’s in my blood
But if my chick leave me she gon’ leave me for somethin’
She gon’ leave me ’cause of Halle, she ain’t gon’ leave me for nothin’
Picture me gettin’ up with something sleazy
Something, something, so easy you could take out of speed like nothin’
Somethin’ soon as you finish cuttin, you like, “Leave me please!”
Not me, I need Angelina Joleezy comfort
So I ain’t gon’ make a move unless I got a Plan B
That’ll happen the day I have a baby by Free
Not to say that anything is wrong with Free
Just to say that ain’t nothing wrong with B
If my hand’s in the cookie jar, know one thing
I’ma take the cookie, not leave my ring

If my hand’s in the cookie jar, know one thing
I’ma take [laughs] y’all know what I mean

I wonder if Lifetime will option the Eliot Spitzer story.