Episodes in teenage hygiene

I received the following in an email from one of my college buddies today. They are actual exchanges he had with his 14-year-old stepson about personal hygiene. As a father-to-be, I find them quite funny and thought I would share. My favorite: “I soaped myself up and I’m not sure what happened after that.” All you can do is laugh after that.

“Actual Exchanges with My 14-Year-Old Stepson” by G.F.

 

A la Carte

Me: Take a shower, then you can come down and eat.

[ 2 minutes later ]

Me: Yo, your shirt is wet.

Him: Oh man…really?

Me: What happened?

Him: I just came out of the shower.

Me: That quickly?

Him: Yeah. You know the part where you stand under the water? I skipped that part.

Pepe-Le-Pew The Washcloth Fiasco

Me: Did you use her [my oldest daughter’s] washrag?

Him: Probably not.

Me: Probably? Did you or didn’t you?

Him: I don’t know. I soaped myself up and I’m not sure what happened after that.

Body wash?

Me: Did you use a washrag at all?

Him: Nah I just used the Head & Shoulders body wash.

Me: [stumped] OK.

[ Confused, I go to the bathroom ]

Me: Raymon.

Him: Yeah?

Me: What body wash did you use?

Him: That one.

Me: You mean the shampoo?

Him: Oh. I thought it was body wash.

Me: It says shampoo on it, man. (Exhibit A)

Him: Oh. I thought it was body wash.

I don’t think I was ever that bad as a teen. Any parents out there want to attest?